Musicians Collaboration Studio

STARING AT THE MOON - (Benny)

Benny · 34 · 16631
 

Offline Benny

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This one isn't a collaboration. This is one I knocked off myself.

I'm still working on the mix, so any input is appreciated...


STARING AT THE MOON - Benny Moore

V1
Baby I can't fall asleep without you
Another night spent trying just to make it through
Close my eyes and I feel your gentle kiss
The shadows know that I can't go on like this

CHORUS
And I'm staring at the moon
I lose my mind as the hours pass
But tomorrow comes too soon
These midnight visions of you are all I have

V2
Another conversation with the moonlit sky
And wondering if you're dreaming of my love tonight
The stars all know I need you here next to me
Why is this so much harder than it needs to be

CHORUS

BRIDGE
At one a.m. I'm looking at the ceiling
At two a.m. I'm still fighting with the feeling
At three a.m. the loneliness is daunting
At four a.m. it's still haunting me

CHORUS
« Last Edit: December 29, 2012, 11:32:28 PM by Benny »


Offline McLovin

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I'm not on the right speakers to comment on the mix,.. but,.. is sounds good here.

Great pop tune!  I always enjoy your stuff Benny!
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Offline Benny

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Thanks Jay.  :)  Let me know if you hear something that might need changing. CD has already given me some ideas.

Anybody else?


Offline Studioplayer

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It's a nice tune. It does have a real dreamy feel to it.  8) It sounds a tad better with the keys lowered in parts. It's a good tune and I think your vocals & words really make it shine anyways. I don't know if you could really improve upon it. The keys are repetitive but so what. Not every song needs a bridge or major changes.

Dave


Offline McLovin

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It's a nice tune. It does have a real dreamy feel to it.  8) It sounds a tad better with the keys lowered in parts. It's a good tune and I think your vocals & words really make it shine anyways. I don't know if you could really improve upon it. The keys are repetitive but so what. Not every song needs a bridge or major changes.

Dave

Ya,.. the keys are repetitive,.. but its one of the things I like about it.  It takes skill to use the same progression through a song,.. and manage to still break it up into something interesting.  Again,.. you have a great ear for pop production.
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Offline Benny

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Thanks guys for the comments. :)  I liked this one, but was getting a whole spectrum of opinions and was unsure how it came across to listeners. :-\


Offline AndyG6508

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Hey Benny,

Here are my observations..for whats it worth..

Nicely constructed and good sounding pop tune - very 80s.

The keys pad could do down a tad to let guitars and the keys arps to shine through better perhaps?

I like the little adds through different voicings throughout the song, except for a percussive effect which appears at one speaker - distracting.

The snare during the chorus could come up a bit. If echo'd more it would sound like Phil Collins though which isnt a good thing is it?

Finally, do I detect an obsession with the moon Benny?  :). There's at least 2 others you have been involved with...Look at the Moon and Who Lives on the Dark Side of the Moon.

Whats the latest word on Texan werewolves?

Andy
« Last Edit: May 16, 2012, 02:02:34 PM by AndyG6508 »


Offline Casia - lyricist

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LOL Andy.  I'm enjoying this song but I was wondering about "Benny and the Moon" too.  If he ever needs a new band name, I would suggest that.

Or "Benny Moons"  ;D

Oh, and don't forget "The Land Of Two Moons"  :D
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Offline Benny

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Thanks Andy for the observations. :)  I will give them a try when I get a chance. I thought the mix was pretty good, until I listened to it in my car. Eek, it needs some work.

I guess I have used "moon" a time or two. ::)  But it wasn't always my doing. I didn't write the lyrics to "Look At The Moon", "Who Lives On The Darkside of the Moon", or "Land of Two Moons", so other people are guilty too! But you are forgetting "Texas Moon". And I know that "No Valentine" has a moon reference, and I am sure there are others. The rest of the galaxy is probably getting jealous.


Offline Zap

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I really like this song! Well done. If I were to don my producers hat, the only thing I would add would be some nice backup vocals to "answer" the lead in the second and following choruses.

I'm starin' at the moon...
(starin at the moon)
Tomorrow comes too soon
(too soon)

To fill in the gaps and provide contrast from the first chorus.  Other than that it's perfect.
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Offline AndyG6508

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 ;D

Cass, since MCS is a 'family' channel we should change that to "Moons over my Benny" (they serve something called "Moons over my Hammy" at Humpty's - the breakfast outlet in Alberta).

Oh yes, how could we miss Land of the Two  Moons - thats an epic one. How about another tuned  entitled "Its been many Moons"?

Andy

Or "Benny Moons"  ;D



Offline Benny

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Hey Zap...thanks.

Can you give me a rough demo of your vocal idea?


Offline Benny

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I made a new mix (Mix 2 on the beginning post), backing off the overall reverb a little, lowering the pad and making some other slight adjustments to make it clearer sounding.

My big questing is how is the bass guitar level? Too much? Just right? :-\
« Last Edit: May 22, 2012, 10:30:03 AM by Benny »


Offline docmidnite

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I made a new mix (Mix 2 on the beginning post), backing off the overall reverb a little, lowering the pad and making some other slight adjustments to make it clearer sounding.

My big questing is how is the bass guitar level? Too much? Just right? :-\


Offline musicfort

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Hey Benny

Really like this. Has a nice feel to it. One comment, I do agree with Henry, I think the bass needs to come up a little. Of course I'm a little biased toward bass anyway, but it is the underlying progression. Might give it a little more BAM, if you know what I mean. Just my opinion, I'm no expert.

Bob


 

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