I Love You, I Miss You...

[atxsongwriter]

This song was originally written while I was driving eighteen wheelers. I wrote this song for my wife, just to let he rknow how much I missed her and loved her. The song was brought to life with my co-writer, Jeff Lord from Songramp. We finished the song in time for our 5th month anniv. She fell in love with the song and I hope you like it as much...am thinking of sending this one to my publisher and wanted some imput....thanks

[jeff]

Yo. Little input for ya...

I think its a good draft. If it were me, I'd go back and refine the phrasing of the melody...strike any unnecessary words...so the lines move along with fluidity.

I often find myself writing, refining and re-writing, until only the highest impact words and phrases remain...and there is balance between "singability" and coherence of the message.

Hope that helps.

Jeff

[srvfender]

Hey atxsongwriter,

+1 on what Jeff said. A little more of a defined melody and polishing of the lyrics would only strengthen the song.
My $.02.

AJ

[Studioplayer]

Love the vocals. It's a bit busy but very enjoyable none the less. The guys above can comment better on that and are probably right. I'm just a guitar player and I love the acoustics. Nice song. 

Dave