Musicians Collaboration Studio
Virtual Music Studio => Finished Works => Topic started by: Donna on September 30, 2009, 05:38:06 PM
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Another way-off-my-usual-radar offering. Kind of Goth-ish. It's longish and the lyrics are not for the faint of heart. :P ;)
This is a very rough demo. Peter will be adjusting and correcting later. Probably do a complete new take. (He'll also be joining us here on the site.)
Please feel free to make any musical suggestions.
Donna
Music/Instruments/Vocals: Peter Watkinson
Lyrics: Donna Devine
Lilith's Daughter
(v1)
She's the ailment and the antidote
The silver dagger at your throat
She'll prick the skin then lick the blood
Her smould'ring eyes will speak so well
Of great devil-bats that go flapping by
In the storms that beat on the shores of hell
Chorus
She stokes the fire
Fans desire
Salts your thirst
Then rations water
As quivers of doom
Shake your innards
She leads you gently to the slaughter
(v2)
Black candles blaze above her bed
Dripping wax upon your head
No amulet can save you now
Her arcane words flung everywhere
They split and tear the naked sky
As boulder-like hailstones hiss through the air
Chorus
She stokes the fire
Fans desire
Salts your thirst
Then rations water
As quivers of doom
Shake your innards
Men have called her Lilith's daughter
Bridge
A woman of earth
Uncommon birth
She's cloaked in ash
And sizzles like a lightning flash
She'll devour
Overpower
Chorus
She stokes the fire
Fans desire
Salts your thirst
Then rations water
As quivers of doom
Shake your innards
She leads you gently to the slaughter
Men have called her Lilith's daughter
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8) Cool stuff Donna. Very dark
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Donna,
Slightly beyond my ken - musically - but I enjoyed the listen.
The lyrics are gothic - eerie :), and I liked the recorded sound of the guitars - very crisp as well as the effect of the vocals sung in two registers.
Once completed this should be a big one.
Tim Burton might just snap it up for one of his movie soundtracks!!
Cheers
Andy
PS - I liked the solo and the part just after a lot.
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Donna - excellent imagery. Might I enquire as to the daughter's name? :o
I also want to hear more about Lilith >:D
I see/hear Peter was in a slight predicament with the vocal.....he had to be mindful that the lyrics needed to be heard (clarity wise) in order for this to work and that would account for the rather laid back vocal performance compared with the last song I heard. I still think that a more raucus vocal for the chorus would really juice it up. I'm loving what Peter did musically and vocally with the lyrics. He really caught the coldness and the 'odour'. What a talent, and I look forward to him joining MCS.
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Now Donna you are a Puzzle... How on earth that sweet face goes finding those lyrics?...
... Oh ma... :)
... Musicaly, very welldone for the style... It's not my cup of tea in music but is really good for this style... The guitars are deep as they're supposed to, the vox is dark and melancolic just like it asks for. Nice druming.
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Dave, Andy, Billy, and Paulo, thanks so much for listening and commenting. :)
A Tim Burton snap-up would be nice, Andy. ;)
Billy, in biblical legends (especially related to Judaism), Lilith was Adam's first wife, created not from his rib (as Eve was said to be) but from the earth, as he was. Given that they were created equally, Lilith refused to be subordinate to Adam in any way. Naturally, this led to stress and strife, and she flounced off in a huff and got up to all manner of mischief.
Myth has it that at some point she lived in a cave and had several daughters, all of whom were very, very naughty indeed. >:D (Actually, I wasn't aware of the daughters bit when I wrote the lyric. I was simply positing that the woman in the song could have been a daughter of Lilith, complete with her penchant for things shady, in particular where men are concerned.)
Yes, Peter solved the predicament nicely, I think. I'd asked him to keep the vocals upfront and to give the lyrics a melody. I agree with your suggestion about the chorus, and will mention it to him.
Paulo, the imagination is a wonderful thing. ;) And for what it's worth ...Sometimes I even shock myself. ;D
Donna
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Wow, this one makes Black Sabbath sound like the Brady Bunch....creepiest song I've ever heard...great job! Almost makes me want to dye my hair black and put on some white makeup (I said ALMOST guys...no wise cracks! ;D ;D)
Wicked vibe! >:D
Marc
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This isn't a song, I've stumbled upon a dark scary ritual that wasn't meant to be seen! >:D
great imagery, Donna, quite amazing...
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Marc and Jay, thanks for the listen. Glad you enjoyed the vibe and the imagery. ;)
Donna
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Donna,
werent you planning to re-do parts of the song, kind of polish it up at places?
Cheers
ANdy
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That's right, Andy. ;) Peter I think intends to look at a couple of areas that he wasn't 100% happy with. It's a question of time, though. He's flat out at the moment (he travels a lot with his work). Plus he's working on another one of mine. Looks like I'll have a heavy-metal-triptych. ;D Though the third - and probably last one - will be more gentle, along the lines of Metallica's cover of "Turn the Page".
Donna